BEADWINDOW!®
Autonomous AI-Driven SIEM
The world's first fully autonomous cybersecurity platform that actually works. Because babysitting a SIEM 24/7 is about as fun as manually parsing terabytes of logs while your network burns down around you. We fixed cybersecurity. You're welcome.
Why Legacy SIEMs Are Security Theater
And why BEADWINDOW!® is the antidote
The Legacy SIEM Nightmare
- Requires 24/7 human babysitting (sleep is for the weak)
- Vendor lock-in hell (escape is futile)
- Response times measured in coffee breaks
- 95% false positives (boy who cried wolf syndrome)
- Months of "professional services" to maybe work
- Encryption that's basically "pretty please don't look"
The BEADWINDOW!® Revolution
- 98.7% autonomous (AI does the heavy lifting)
- Zero vendor lock-in (freedom tastes good)
- 1.2 second response times (blink and we're done)
- Under 0.1% false positives (signal, not noise)
- 5-minute deployment (seriously, we timed it)
- FIPS 140-2 encryption (the real deal)
Features That Actually Matter
Unlike marketing buzzword bingo
Dual-AI Validation
Two AIs validate every threat because even AI needs a buddy system. phi3:mini for speed, llama3.2 for brains. Like having a paranoid cyber genius who never sleeps.
Sub-Second Response
1.2 second average response time vs. industry standard of "sometime next Tuesday." Because threat actors don't wait for your SOC to finish their lunch break.
Military-Grade Encryption
FIPS 140-2 compliant encryption that doesn't just pay lip service to security. Plus native Office 365 integration without Microsoft's permission slip APIs.
Neural Network Detection
PyTorch neural networks that catch threats others miss. Like having a security analyst who actually paid attention in their threat hunting certification.
Multi-Tenant Architecture
Complete data isolation between organizations. Because "shared security" is like "shared toothbrushes" - sounds economical until something goes wrong.
Zero Vendor Lock-In
Works with ANY infrastructure. Standard protocols mean you're not married to our platform forever (unlike that other expensive SIEM you're stuck with).
BEADWINDOW!® vs The Expensive Competition
Spoiler alert: We win
| Feature | BEADWINDOW!® | Splunk | IBM QRadar | Microsoft Sentinel |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Autonomous Response | ✅ 98.7% | ❌ Manual Labor | ❌ Manual Labor | ❌ Manual Labor |
| Response Time | ✅ 1.2 seconds | ❌ Hours (coffee break) | ❌ Hours (lunch break) | ❌ Minutes (bathroom break) |
| False Positives | ✅ <0.1% | ❌ 80%+ (alert fatigue) | ❌ 70%+ (crying SOC) | ❌ 85%+ (Microsoft magic) |
| Setup Time | ✅ 5 minutes | ❌ Months (+ consultants) | ❌ Months (+ therapy) | ❌ Weeks (+ prayers) |
| Cost per GB/Day | ✅ $0-150 | ❌ $500+ (ouch) | ❌ $600+ (yikes) | ❌ $400+ (plus Azure fees) |
Pricing That Won't Break Your Security Budget
Unlike those other guys
Free Tier
- Up to 2 GB/day ingestion
- Full AI capabilities
- Neural network detection
- Community support
- No payment method required
Small Business
- 2-100 GB/day ingestion
- FIPS 140-2 encryption
- Multi-tenant support
- Professional support
- Custom integrations
- Auto-upgrade at 85% capacity
Enterprise
- 100+ GB/day minimum
- Volume discount (33% off)
- Dedicated support team
- Custom compliance frameworks
- Advanced threat intelligence
- Annual term commitment
Ready to Stop Playing Security Theater?
Your current SIEM is about as effective as a screen door on a submarine. Join the forward-thinking organizations preparing to ditch legacy security for AI that actually works.
🚀 Coming Q4 2025
BEADWINDOW!® is currently in final testing with select enterprise partners. Be among the first to experience true autonomous security.